


It's all about breaking eggs

by merkintosh



Category: Glee, Misfits (TV 2009)
Genre: Brother/Sister - Freeform, Crack, F/M, Other, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 06:35:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11961750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merkintosh/pseuds/merkintosh
Summary: Nathan knows he's forgetting someone.





	It's all about breaking eggs

"So, Da. Any other surprise siblings out there that I need to know about? Any children hidden in wells or in cupboards under stairs?" Nathan asked sarcastically. They had almost made it through breakfast without fighting once and he didn't know what to do with that.

His father was looking nervously from side to side.

"Seriously!" Nathan said. This was getting ridiculous. "I was joking!"

"It was a one-night stand a long time ago. This girl was supposed to be a surrogate mum for some gays in America but she was on vacation in London for some theatre thing the week before they were going to inseminate her. You're not supposed to, you know, do it for like a month before the insemination but..." His father looked off into the distance with a fond smile.

"But your penis cannot be denied. You giant manslut," Nathan said. "How do you even know that this gay baby is yours?"

"I don't, really," his da said. "But it could be. Doesn't matter. She's in America and she's got two parents. Three if you count her mum. I doubt she'd want a fourth."

"Do you know her name?" Nathan asked.

His da stared at him suspiciously. "Why do you want to know?" he asked.

"So I remember not to fuck my own sister if I ever get to America and cut a swath through all that colonial pussy," Nathan retorted. He stuffed a piece of toast in his mouth and grinned.

***

"So what's your name again?" Nathan asked. She was a tiny little tart and her skirt was even tinier. He liked it when girls visually displayed their low self-esteem and inner sluttiness. He leered at her flat chest and stuck his hand on her upper thigh. 

She gave him a haughty look and tried to push his hand off her leg. "My name is Rachel Berry and I really think you should desist from molesting me before my very large and intimidating boyfriend comes out of the bathroom."

"I'm sure he's happily getting a suck-off from a gay in the loo, dove. Let's focus more on you and me. I like your sweater. Nice... pony." Nathan felt like he was forgetting something important.

"You're very crass and I want you to go away. I have a rape whistle," the girl said. She was very good at peering imperiously down her nose. It made her look like a tiny dwarf queen.

"Well, if you have the whistle then I have the rape," Nathan said. He winced internally but shrugged off any shame. It would do him no good in the end. "I've got a song in my heart and a yearning to sing it to you, my love."

The girl finally perked up. "Can you do karaoke at this bar?" she asked.

Nathan nodded and pushed his beer towards the girl. "No one's going to stop a girl as pretty as you from singing."

She blushed and tentatively reached towards the beer. "I'm underage in America, but I guess I'm not here. What would my fathers say, though?" 

Nathan knew he was forgetting something now. It was at the tip of his tongue. "Your last name is Berry, you said?" he asked. "Are you sure it's not Cherry?"

The girl blushed and giggled. 

Nathan smiled. "I only ask because I'm about to pop--"

Superhoodie appeared out of nowhere and knocked Nathan unconscious.


End file.
